Laura, Tom and I at Shenandoah!

These photos are of the three of us on top of the Shenandoah Mountain range on Skyline Drive. It was a relaxing beautiful place to spend the day! More later!

So our spring adventure begins just in the nick of time!

I spent a good part of the day stressing about the looming noreaster, the weather guys love to instil fear in all of us. I had to take matters into my own hands, with the assistance of the internet I found a campground just north of Bighamton that would put us up for the night. Hopefully we drove just far enough south/west to miss the snow. I really do not care if it rains, after all that is what spring is all about. So for now Tom and Laura are snacking and a game of yahtzee is in my immiedate future. Matter of fact the game is in my hand. A night of rest and then we will be on the road to Pennsylvania and finally Shenandoah National Park. I can't wait to get there, it has been a long time coming, let the adventure begin...............

Shenandoah here we come!

This will have to be a quick post, just to let you know I am hoping to post pictures and info about our great adventure. This week has been very busy packing and organizing the RV. Last week I said good bye for the final time to Aunt Mary, as Karen said "Til we meet again". The weekend was all about packing, errands and a few hours for family Sunday. Almost all of us were there, Tom stayed home to do some chores and Theresa, Bill and Will were on vacation in Florida and Heather was home with Miles who is sick wih a yucky ear infection. I invited Melissa and Hayden who both enjoyed there time away from all the craziness of the last few weeks. Melissa really has had a long hard time watching and waiting for her Mom to pass. Now she has to deal with a brother that thought he could get rich on his Mother's death, sick little yuck he is. What a terrable life he must have to be hanging on to his Mother's money to feed himself. I listened as he planed on buying a car and building a house. Craziness, they paid for his education, he actually has a Masters degree in music education. Really he needs to make it on his own now and this might just be what he needs to give him the kickstart. For the past few years he has been living off his brother but he has plans of movig to a smaller space which puts him in the streets, there is more to this story but I must give myself a kick start and go to work,LOL! Have a great day!

Life is beautiful and sometimes it is really hard, but life is beautiful!

Aunt Mary passed away early this morning, I do believe that my prayers were answered. I knew that I could not change her fate, so I prayed she have a peaceful pain free death. At least it seemed that way to me, she went into a coma a week and a half ago. She truly seemed to be resting peacefully thru the entire time, she really did not seem to be there anymore to me. Each time I visited her she seemed more like she had already left us and that last time, she tried to open her eyes to look at me but was unable to. So with a sad heart I said good bye, my hope now is that she is in heaven with God and our family that left before us! The services will be sometime this week.
Today was Tom's Aunt Jos 86th Birthday! It is strange to me that she has her 86th birthday, on the day my Aunt dies. For the last three years of my visits with Aunt Jo she tells me each time, sometimes several times that she wished she was dead. Even asks why God doesn't want her. It proves we have no controll of our final death. So anyway we stoped in the AM to give her medication to her. She has dementia and if she does not get her pills her memory gets very bad, soemtimes even dangerous. When we were there we said we would be back later for supper, reminding her not to eat til we get there.
We left on Laura's special outing and a few errands. We have been encouraging Laura to start going out on outings at day program. Every year the entire winter she refuses to go on outing with them. Every spring we start to encourage her to go out more often, the goal is twice a week. So for two weeks now she has had a special outing for being a very good girl. That is what Laura says! We ran to get propane for the RV, then made a stop at the RV store to get a filter and then Olive Garden for lunch. She ate very well and had chocolate cake for dessert. Laura and I then went home and baked cookies for dinner at Karen and Jims tommorow while we waited for her Mommie and Scott to come for there weekly dinner visit. Once they got here Tom and I went and got dinner for Aunt Jo and a cake. While we visited her I hemmed the pants I bought her. This weeks chore at Aunt Jos was to clean out her torn, stained burned clothes and replace them with new ones. I bought her 4 pairs of pants with two mathcing shirts and a matching jacket for each set, she was actually pleased. Everytime we do something for her we expect her to get upset but she now seems to like our help. It is almost as if a big part of her dementia is fueled by stress, as soon as she gets anxious about something the dementia becomes more intense and it takes sometime for her to return to her normal self. Today we visited for sometime while I hemmed her pants, she was alost totally normal the entire time with no confusion. It was actually a nice visit and she was appreciative for the clothing and the visit. I left there with a smile.
We were not home long before Laura came home, the usual hour with Tammy and Scott invading our house and my wishing that they leave soon so I can relax and unwind from a busy somewhat stressful day! It seems weird that I am not terrably upset about Aunt Mary's passing away but the truth is I know for sure she is now in a better place, no more pain! I invision she is sitting at the table with her husband, parents, cousins, aunts uncles and Jesus at the head of the table breaking the bread and dipping it into the sauce, yum that is what Jesus says! Sound good to you, wait til you join them, they will all be laughing and eatng some of Aunt Antoinette's pastries coffee and anisette! Memories that is what we have, my cildhood was unique! We all grew up on the same street. We were on the corner, my grandparents behind us, up the street was Uncle Patsy and through the woods was Aunt Mary & Uncle Jim and my cousins! The entire neighborhood seemed to be Italian or Polish and they all had something to offer from there gardens to share with a neighbor. Fruit, and veggies, homemade breads, pizza, jelly, sauce etc. That is why I invision them sitting at the table with Jesus having dinner, it is how I grew up being together, meant having a meal or a snack! So someday I will join them and wait for those left behind! See you soon Aunt Mary!

Laura's Saturday!

Most Saturdays Laura is up early excited to start the day. I find myself on Friday night trying to down play the weekends activities. I am hopeing that I can convice Laura to sleep late, so I can sleep late. She is excited to see her Mommie and Scott. Tom and I have to keep her enteratained. Today Tom took her out to run some errands and have lunch while I cleaned the house. When they came home her insulin pump needed to be changed, she needed her medicines and help getting cleaned up to go back out again. Laura has to wait all day for them to come, because Scott works during the day at Stewarts, he gets out about 2pm, they usually pick her up at 3pm. Many weeks they end up not showing up and then she is disappointed. Laura gets upset and may say something about it later. I often know she is upset and then I have to come up with something for her to do to fill the void. The last time we baked brownies and played the Wii. I can change her thought process but only temporarily. She will ask about them again later in the week, tell me she loves them and misses them. She seems worried that they won't come back again. It is a sad situation for her to live with. For years she did not see her Mom more than a few times a year, Laura did not ask about her at all then. Now that we are back to having fairly regular visits, it is hard for her to wait for each visit not knowing bugs her. Laura is a creature of habit, she does not like change at all, so when they decide at the last minute they can't come it is tough on her.
I really think she is just happy to see Scott. Her Mom has many issues of her own, she walks in the door barely speaks to Laura and spends the first 10 minutes of the visit telling us some story about being sick or someone else who is sick. She can go on and on about an issue. This evening when she returned Laura home to me she repeatedly told me that Laura was complaining about her face. Whe she left and I asked Laura what was wrong I could not find anything wrong and there were no complaints. Its like she had nothing better to talk about, I would prefer she just shut up, kiss her good bye and leave gracefully. That is not how it goes, she gets Laura into her PJs and then they stand at the door and talk to Tom or I for at least 1/2 hour each time, ugh!
The one thing I like about there visits is Tom and I actually get a few hours to ourselves. The house is ours, no sitter, no vistors and no responsability until she returns. We act like honeymooners for a few minutes, maybe go out for dinner, shop a little or just stay home and relax. Thoose few short hours feel good. But I am always happy to have our little girl back at the end of the day. So now Laura and I visit, share a snack and then I put her to bed. So Good night everyone!

Aunt Mary

Well I got an e mail this evening that tells me that Aunt Mary is coming very close to the end of her life. I just thought it would be nice to honor her with a few of my thoghts about her.
As a child when she gave me a gift she was very thoughtful, she somehow knew exactly what I liked without asking. Like the year she gave me the pretzel machine, I truly loved it. I spent hours creating differant flavored pretzels watching them ride thru the oven, soo cool! And she gave me my first album Donny Osmond, that must have been sixth grade.
Her and Uncle Jim were an awesome couple they both had an awesome sense of humor and could almost always get me to laugh. She was a loving but stern Mom. In our house we got away with lots of drinking even marijuana use but not at Aunt Mary's house. While I was in high school her niece Elaine came to live with her, I was a year yonger so we were hooked up as friends. We got along well and I was always getting Elaine into trouble.
She is an awesome cook, made the best cheesecake, I remember asking her for the recipe and she said to me it was the same recipe my mother used, she said she got the recipe from her, I was shocked because hers was so much better than Mom's. Shh don't let her know I said that. Her stuffed artichokes are soft and moist, they melt in your mouth and her spaghetti sauce is simple and yummy always. The things she prepares are filled with slow methodical love.
As an adult our times together have been sporadic, I tried going to her church for awhile. And then my cousin Melissa moved in with me, so I saw lots of them then. Times change lots and I our visits sometimes became rare. Although they were not often they were always good times for me. She once told me that she liked me best because I was not afraid to speak my mind. The funny thing is I feel the same about her. If she has something on her mind she says it even when the truth hurts. It has been tough medicine but at times exactly waht I needed to hear.
She will be missed by many. Her children have all stayed very close to her. They have had a tradition for many years of having coffee every Saturday night. So as she slowly leaves us to go home to her woderful loving husband and all of her loved ones that left her first. I know she is surrounded by love, I have prayed for sometime now that you have a peaceful painfree passing. I love you!

LONNNNNNGGGGGGGG Winter!

It isn't that I have been to busy to post anything on my blog lately, just trying to live through the long boreing winter. Once the holidays are over it seems that there is nothing much happening, so here goes. Maybe I am wrong? I am going to try to recall the events of the past two months. Snow storm, snow storm, snow storm, cold, cold, cold, ice, ice, ice. It has been an unusually difficult year for us here in the north east. For us it is even more difficult because Tom,s job in the winter becomes snow removal for every storm. I am not sure how many days the day hab. was closed for snow, I know for sure that it was more than ever before. Maybe six times. The storms were not all big ones, they were just continuos, one to two storms every week. It was ridiculous, and then yesterday the worst one yet shows up just when we thought we were begining to see signs of spring. The days are getting longer, and the snow had started to melt, but with a heavy wet snow storm it becomes difficult to remain optimistic about an early spring.
For the most part the highlight of most of our weeks were going to Ephrata to visit our friends and attend church with them. I like to think that our family's are very much like two peas in a pod or maybe a male and female ferns. We kind of support each other in a friendly spiritual way. We like the same things and share the same values, and we both have a handicapped child. On one weekend I had the opportunity to go snow mobiling with Karen, it was my first time. I loved it, I am sure if I owned one it would be difficult to keep me off of it. Maybe I would even like winter? Tom and Jim went out after we did and I am sure he enjoyed it as well. Laura was going to give it a try but in the end she chickened out, I forgot the old rule. Do not make her wait because the longer she waits the more worried she gets. Most weekends we share Sunday dinner, chat and play a few games. I never know where the time goes when we are together?
It seems every year during the winter I see very little of our family. We did attended Hunter's first Birthday and Baptism. It was a nice time visiting with everyone. Laura was very excited to meet her newest cousin, Miles for the first time and see Hunter. She truly loves babies! When Heather and Robert arrived to the party, she was waiting at the door for them. Hunter has become to busy for Laura so it is great having the arrival of Miles 9 months later. She was so happy to hold her new cousin and watch Hunter play. I enjoyed visiting with everyone as did Tom. But as always in the winter we were happy to be back home. Our home may be small but it is a secure and warm place to hibernate.

I have continued to visit with Aunt Mary, she is holding her own but it is very obvious she is begining to fail. Becoming thinner and more fragile with each of my visits. Last weekend we took Hayden for a weekend retreat. He lives with her and is having some behavioral issues. The house is a difficult place for a an eight year old boy to be. We didn't do all that much with him here but he certainly had an awesome time. We let him watch movies loud and play the Wii loud. We went swimming and made pizza Saturday. Sunday we took him to the RV show in Springfield Mass. He had a blast runnng in and out of about 100 RV's. We dropped him off Sunday late. Hopefully our taking Hayden every now and then will be a great retreat for him and get him through a rough time in his life. He has lived with his Grandma his own life and this will be the first time he has to face the death of someone he loves. For Aunt Mary I am just praying she has a peaceful pain free passing. It is sad to see her leave us.
My Uncle Merf also passed away in January after years of living with congestive heart failure he was 81 years old. Merf lived a full life, he was a happy gentle soul full of life. He played the accordian in a polka band most of his life. I always loved listening to him play as a child, it was always the highlight of each family gathering for me. My Dad played with Merf when they were children but he gave it up when he became an adult, I wish I knew why he did that. I would have liked to hear him play. As a kid I was surrounded by music both my Dad and Aunt Mary played the piano and organ at there churches and home. We all loved when Dad pulled out the bench and sat down to play, everyone would sit and beg for there favorite song, such great memories we have. The next few years we will probably go to more than one or two funerals. It will be time for a good part of our family to pass on. I know someday we will all meet in heaven, but it still is difficult to say good bye. Our family is full of love and zest for life, laughter is shared as well as tears. At my Uncle Merf's funeral, my cousin Richard who is a priest talked of his Moms, my Aunt Michelina's 90th Birthday. He had asked her what she thought about life and with many years of wisdom she simply said, " Life is beautiful, it is hard sometimes, but in the end it is beautiful" That is a very powerful sentence. So very true it is!
So here we are at the end of Febuary waiting impatiently for spring. We have just one more month til our first camping trip. Tom and I have planned a trip to Virginia's Shenandoah Valley. We found a nice campground with its own waterfall. On the trip home we plan to visit Hershey Pennsylvania. I have never really been to Penn., accept a quick stop at an airport to pick up a few clients. That is another story! So we are going to visit the Hershey Chocolate factory and possably the Amish country side. So as I sit here bored waiting for winter to come to an end, I know that it won't be long til we are enjoying our first trip of the year!

I currently have 4years and 4 months til I can retire. I have 29 1/4 years of state service, so by then I will be over the 30 mark. What that means is I will definatly retire then! Woo hoo! Leslie always tells me it will go faster than you think. I hope so! It is not that I don't like what I do for a living, I just don't like the bureacracy that comes with being a state worker. The state is broke and they will take it out on thoose that need them the most. The past few months have been farely smooth at work, its winter here in the northeast and nobody wants time off. Once spring hits we will all be in line for more time off. We all love being able to take the time off, but it makes it more difficult because then we work for long periods short staffed. Running full steam from the minute we walk in the door until the day is over. Just a few more people would be a great help! But that is not going to happen, so 4 years 4 months bring them on! So I say goodbye for now, stay warm and soon spring will be here I am sure of it.