Christmas Eve Today, the excitement continues!

I woke up this am at 5:30am, with a knock at the bottom of my bed. There was Laura up and ready for the Christmas season to begin. I love sharing in all of her excitement, she loves it all the music, baking, shoping, wraping, unwraping is "My best". Every year on Christmas Eve all of my family gathers together at my Mom and Dad's house. We just enjoy each others company, there is no big gift exchange. Some of us make gifts for each other, not everyone and not always. When we stopped all the formal gift giving Christmas became a much more relaxed time for us. Of course my parents still feel they need to gift us and we pitch in and usually give them a gift certificate for a special trip. But for me more than anything I just want to spend the day with my big extended family.

I am going to try to list them here, hope I don't forget anyone.

My parents Marilyn and Emanual Aragosa, the oldest and most important part of the family, because without them none of us would even be here! Six children plus a huge extended family! Thanks Mom and Dad!

My oldest sister Anne Marie her children, spouses, grifriends and grandchildren are daughter Heather, husband Robert, son/stepson Issiah and Baby Miles. Anne's son;  Joshua, wife Stefanie and son Hunter, its his first Christmas. Anne' son; Jacob and his girlfriend Brittany, and last but not least Lucas, still single. There Dad Greg, Anne's husband, died in the 90s at the age of 38 of a sudden heart attack. That was the biggest loss our family ever experienced. My sister has a boyfriend named, Tony but he has only attended 2 family events in the 2 years they have been dating, so will he come, who knows?? I believe he has 4 children of his own, maybe someday they will join this extended family, but we have seen no sign of any interest in us.

 Next is my brother Joseph Emmanuel, his wife Annie, son Zachary, Zach's girlfriend Alexis, and there daughter Alicia. We also lost Joe and Annies daughter Paige at birth, she was born with serious birth defects and died a few hours after she was born, I will always miss her. I wish I could have met her, I am sure she would have been a rare beauty!

Next is us Me, Mary Grace, my husband Tom, "his" dog Chyanne, who is definatly staying home and our daughter, Laura PDiddy.

Then we come to my sister Lynn Marie and her husband Mark. No children and the only pets they have acquired are Mark's chickens. So they will be staying home, the chickens that is.

Now we have my brother Micheal Emanueal, his wife Maggie, son Justin, his girlfriend Brianne, daughters Carli, and Jenna, the dog Mc Duff will also stay home.

Last of all is Theresa Marie, her husband Bill and there son Will, Theresa and Bill have an extended family from Bills first marriage but they are all married now with families of there own. Oh yeah there dog Maggie will also stay home.

 This year Heather, Robert, Issiah and baby Miles plan to stay home, away from all the usuall holiday germs. Baby Miles was born December 5th, he is a beautiful baby and we love him very much, Laura is still waiting to meet him. Heather and Robert are just concerned parents, I do not blame them. It always seems at least one person is sick at our annual Christmas celebration, they lost there first baby just about a year ago from a miscarriage. So this baby is special to all of us, last year gave us a hint of how special life is! And how quickly it can be taken away, something I try to always remember. It's not the breath you take, its the times that life take's your breath away, so true! Anyway it looks like 30 people, not sure I am not wrong. But close enough!

Anyway, unfortunatly I have work to do, because a good celbrations must start with chores. I need to make a fruit platter and an antipasto. Wrap the cinnamon rolls and get out of here. So hope you had or will have a very Merry Christmas! Now you know just a little bit more about my big family, enjoy every breath you take, more later.........

It ended up beimg an awesome weekend!

I started a 4 day weekend in terrible hip pain, it hurt so bad that I would have had a hip replacement right then and there. But in my true style, I did not let it get me down, well not totally down anyway. Thursday I went with my sister in law to pick up my nieces at Oneonta State College. So not too much activity, mostly a ride in the truck. Now of course I had to find a way to get in and out of the truck without doing more damage. I am to short or it is to high, I brought along my folding step stool with a long ribbon tied on. I got in using the stool, pulled it up with the ribbon, getting out was no problem, just slide out. We stoped at a quilt/consignment shop perfect for Dianne and I, she loves quilting and I love consignment shops. I purchased a few gifts and she got some fabric. When we were done there, the girls were ready to go, so we were off to the college. There dorm room is affectionately called a box, 4 girls or boys, they each get three boxes. 1 to sleep in and then two to a bedroom. Looks like claustrophobia to me. It is very obvious they love there new found freedom and have made friends for life quickly. Once we gathered them up we were off to the horse farm to greet the horses they would like to lease next semester. Both girls are animal lovers, the farm was nice and you could see that was where they are meant to be. So I hope they can come up with the money to get there horses. It was cold at the farm and a little difficult to walk out to the field to meet the horses, but I really do not like to give in so I went out to meet Goose and  Annie. Goose got mad that he wasn't getting all the attention and kicked, Annie. I decided then that maybe I should get the hell out of there. OMG, what if the horse got me, all I can say is OUCH or wholly f... Anyway soon after that we were on our way home, I did leave a few details of the day out like stopping in Schoharie to get eggs from Dianne's mom and lunch at The Eggplant?????, I can't remember the name, but the food was good! I was home just before Laura got home from swimming, which always makes her happy, She really does not like when I am not there on her arrival. I had fixed dinner in the am, which Tom popped into the oven we had a quick dinner and a little couch time before it was bed time. I was still struggling with me hip pain, no improvement, so I tried ice.

   Friday I woke up with no change in my level of pain, might have been a little worse. So what was supposed to be a day of Christmas shopping became a day of rest & ice. I called the doctor begging for a hip injection. I had already done this one month ago when it flared up after the big Thanksgiving feast. The doctors assistant never called me back. I waited four hours for a phone call, which I never got. I tried again, finally while I was begging the receptionist to have her call me, the assistant rings thru and says she called me last month and left a message for me to call image care and schedule the injection myself.  So to make a long story short I called to schedule, but I have to wait another week. By then the pain will be gone at least until the next time I over do it, ugh frustrating. Our medical system, just does not work. I would love to really be a person, not just another patient. A patient truly is not treated like a person, when they figure that out the medical system will be in much better shape. So for now more rest and ice.

   Saturday I was a little better, but woke up tired and grumpy. I had no choice but to work thru the pain and go out Christmas shopping. My first stop was Eddie Bauer, Dianne said that is where she shops because they sell tall womens clothing. So I search the store but find no talls, I ask the clerk and she says to me that they are marked with a T after the size, like largeT. So I search the store high and low and find no talls, I ask another clerk who tells me, they only sell womens talls, on line. Why couldn't they tell me that first, they have mens tall in the store no womens tall, ugh! So that was that and I decided to go with the impersonal gift cards. Off to Price Chopper, I got a few things and a pile of gifts cards. Dianne said Matt would like a Five Guys gift card, so I stopped and got that for him, they were giving away free fries with gift cards. Yeah lunch! Next stop Job Lot for Laura and stuff for antipasto for Christmas Eve, a stop at Aldis and Hannaford, a quick haircut and then home to wrap gifts.  While I was on my way home Tom called because our friends Christie and Nate had stopped to drop off the fruit I had bought from the school. So I got home in time for a nice visit, Cheyanne and the dog Carmel, were playing running in our house and having a grand old time. We had a nice visit. Tammy and Scott showed up to take Laura out for there usual Saturday dinner. A few minutes later everyone left and I did the wrapping while Tom ran groceries to Aunt Jo's house. We had enough time to do the chores, eat a quick dinner, make chocolate cream pies for dinner at Karena and Jims and finish the wrapping before Laura was back. I had to change her insulin pod get her ready for bed and watch while she opened her gifts from Mommie and Scott. They do not visit her on holidays and I like it that way we are busy visiting with my family on Christmas Eve and Toms family on Christmas Day. By the time everybody left I was exhausted and hobbling again, more ice and rest! Bed early, but the presents are wrapped and I am ready for Christmas,yeah! Hope they like there gifts!

    Sunday I was up early and feeling better, I walked to the bathroom without hobbling. Showered and got breakfast for Laura and I. I got the newspaper, and unfortunately for Laura there were no coupons. She really was upset, and it took awhile for her to get over it. We finished breakfast and got ready for church,dinner at Karen and Jims and carolling with the church. So we bundled up for the day, before going to Ephratah, we stopped at Aunt Jo's to give her pill to her. Since we have started doing that she has become less confused, so it is worth the trip. During church today was the childrens Christmas show, they did a great job singing songs and using sign language, it was awesome. Most of Karen and Jims family was present, including her daughter Julie who got engaged this week. Karen emailed me very upset friday AM, because there daughter Karena took it hard. Karena is also handicapped, physically and mentally,but none of us are really sure to what degree, Her sisters engagement was hard for her because it was another moment she realized she would always be left behind. Unable to leave her parents home and mature in the normal adult way. Karen was heart broken for Karena and very happy for Julie, what a terrible way to be torn. I am always at home when I am with there extended family. After church we had dinner with everyone except Karena who had a seizure and was resting in her bed. Before we left to carol she was up to join the group, I was very happy to see that. I left her with a piece of chocolate cream pie and we were off to carol. During dinner Laura had broke down into tears because she was scared to go into the wagon caroling. But at the same time she wanted to go. Like we always do we went despite her fear, she broke into tears again as we were getting into the wagon. Once the wagon took off it did not take Laura long before she was laughing and having a good time, We were out for at least an hour and she was till refusing to give in despite the cold. Tom was frozen, but he was not dressed as warm as Laura and I, men never listen. So here we are in Ephratah, being pulled around in an open wagon, about 20 people, mostly little kids. The wagon is being pulled by a farmer who just so happens to be drinking beer while he does this. Imagine this is a church group, not the average group. I can say that wagon was full of love for each other and God. We were singing songs about Christmas and having a grand old time, as the sun began to set, it got mighty cold. Brought back memories of my days on a motorcycle, no way to get warm but a lot of fun. I think the last time I went caroling I was still in school, so maybe I was 15 at the most! It was a great way to celebrate Christmas and will remain a great memory forever! Thanks Karen for including us!

Laura's 25th Birthday

It has been a long busy few weeks, getting ready for Laura's Birthday. The past few weekends we have been busy cleaning and decorating the house for Christmas and her birthday. Friday the whole family played hookie and Laura and I spent the day baking her cake and making potato and macaroni salad for the party. It amazes me how the days at home with Laura sometimes are our best.

Friday she was up by 5am, I found her in her wheelchair at the foot of my bed, waiting impatiently for me to get up and give her, her presents. We did not spend much, I even shopped in a thrift store, she got a new Christmas outfit, a canoe with three stuffed snowmen in it "Us", a Christmas movie, and a book. As always Laura was happy with all of them, she is so easy to please, only because stuff means nothing to her. I only wish I could think like that, she just likes to open gifts and the party is, so everybody sings Happy Birthday to her.

So we cooked and enjoyed the day with each other, until later in the afternoon. When she had to get ready to go out with Mommie and Scott for dinner. The first few years I was with Tom and Laura, we rarely saw her mother. But a few years ago she resurfaced after she met her new boyfriend Scott. He works with handicapped children, so he has proven to be another blessing in Lauras life. Mommie only comes to get Laura when Scott is available, I will never understand how you can be someones mother until they are 18 and then suddenly be unable to care for them alone. Seems bizarre to me, but that is another story. Anyway they went out to dinner, Tom and I snuck out to get a few last minute things and have a qick bite to eat alone.

Thruout the entire day I am always surrounded by people, such a Lauras sitter Becky. By 9am she was here and sat and mostly watched Laura and I cook, sure she did her chores, give her pills, checked her bloodsugars, but for me I wish we could have been alone. The way the system for her care is set up is difficult. If we do not give Becky enough work hours, she will have to go out and get another job and most likely we will lose her as our sitter. So I am always in a position where I need to comprimise my privacy, and it sucks. Becky is good for Laura, she takes her swimming and does most of her care when she is here, but I still would prefer we could be left alone, just imagine having someone in you house 90% of your awake hours during the week, no fun!

Anyway Saturday Laura was at the foot of my bed even earlier, excited about her party. Tom fixed all of us a nice breakfast, I had my coffee and sat and vegged for a few hours but then we hit the floor running. I had to do the usual last minute cleaning, not my preferred job. I have two sisters that are clean freaks, not me. I think life is way to short to spend it cleaning the house, so I only do what I have to do to make the house presentable. Once the cleaning was done then I set up the buffet and put the last minutes touches on the house, while Laura sat anxiuosly awaiting her party! Thats her, waiting for the floor to dry.

Soon after that the party began, in our little 800 square foot house we had about 20 people, all of which  showed up at the same time, even though I tried for an open house. Oh well it worked out fine and she loved all the attention, gifts to open and having every one sing Happy Birthday! She had a special visit from one of her old school aides, Miss Eileen.. It was short but sweet she was all smiles thru out the day! Laura is very easy to please, at the end of the day, I asked her what was the best part of her Birthday weekend, she said, "I liked my party" simple and beautiful, young lady! Love her so much!

Thanksgiving today!

We have lots of reasons to be thankful, God, family, friends, our home, our rv, the time and resources to travel in our new RV, the beautiful country we live in, the list is endless. Often we forget how good we have it, complaining about the everyday chores, when really we should be thankful that we can do them.

The past few weeks have been sort of a roller coaster. My Moms 80th Birthday celebration was awesome, but it was bittersweet at the same time. She is aging physically, and that was the night I found out my Aunt Mary has terminal cancer, she has about six months to live.

 Last eve I went to my Mom's after work and stuffed the turkey for them with the help of my niece's Carli and Jenna. Dad came home and watched over us, I tied the legs and wings the way he likes and then it was done. I really think he wanted to do it himself, but since I came to help when my sister Lynne asked me to, he did not interfere, but I could tell he would have liked to do it himself. Lynne was worried about him because a few weeks ago he fell and bruised his sternum. We really have to think about how much help we give them. Sometimes we help too much, just think about yourself, often we have pain but that does not stop us. We just work through the pain and finish whatever job we need to tackle. Maybe that is good for them too, aging should not stop us. It is just a reminder that we need to slow down. My favorite quote came from my doctor, back when I had my pulmonary embolism. "Slow and steady wins the race" I say it all the time to Lura when she is afraid of walking somewhere or doing something she perceives as dangerous. We need to let them do just that.

After helping with the turkey I went to my Aunt Mary's, I had a super nice visit with her. She seemed to be feeling very good. Just recovering from a few days extreme abdominal upset. Melissa says she has a bad day, then a day to recover and then a few good days and then the process is repeated. The cancer is blocking off her intestine. So eating is a real problem for her. I brought them a pot of beef barley soup for supper. Aunt Mary enjoyed it, but we had to take the boat motor to it, process it to a cream soup, help her digest the soup. She said it was till good that way. After we ate dinner, I helped them with some Thanksgiving prep, chopping veggies and chatting. It was very nice to spend time with her and my cousin Melissa. Hayden was busy playing the Wi in the living room, while we stuffed the artichokes. I left when we finished that job.

 Laura was waiting for me to get home. She had gone to dinner and the mall with her sitter Becky and Maria (Becky's Daughter, who is here visiting from Texas), she had a picture of her sitting with Santa. She was so proud of the picture, for years Laura was afraid of Santa for the past few years we have been working on her fear. She seems to have overcome the fear, asking to visit him. I love when this happens. I really am proud of her when she works through anyone of her many fears, it is awesome to see.

This morning I woke up to the sounds of Laura and Tom in the living room. Tom had gotten the paper and she was happy to see how big it was. Chucked full of all the Black Friday adds. We sat on the couch and looked at all the adds while I sipped my coffee in a ceramic cup. Yes that to me has become a sign of a good day. ceramic cup when you are not in a rush, plastic travel mug for any other day. The add were fun to look at, but I have no plans of shopping on Black Friday, it is too insane for me and totally unnecessary. We have truly lost the meaning of Christmas, the stores are now opening on Thanksgiving. Family means nothing, to the retailers in this country. I promise I will not shop on Thanksgiving but I won't do it on Black Friday either, too crazy for me.

 Well it is time to get moving, get Laura dressed, pills, dishes etc. and then we are off to my Mom's to spend Thanksgiving with them. More on my niece Jessica, who is in the hospital today after gallbladder surgery, keep her in your prayers too.

Am I depressed, why???

Not sure why but today I have been kind of bummed out all day. I was ok for a while this am but when I got to work it seemed to get worse again. I started the day off disinterested in doing the am chores, but that is nothing new.

I went to Laura' ISP, this is a 6 months review of how she is doing at day program with her OT, PT, speech, nursing and her goals. Seems as though everybody agreed she has a good morning but at lunch she begins to have a melt down that progressively gets worse until she leaves. She has anxiety mostly about walking, she can really dig in and refuse to walk. At program she uses her walker in the building and to and from the bus. If she goes out on a long distance outing she has a wheelchair she can use. Most of us have the same belief that she is afraid of falling. I listened to everybody's story and realized I needed to try giving her ativan earlier in the day instead of when she gets home. So after I left I called the doc, hopefully she will write the script for what we need, and it improver's her life.

We also discussed the issues with getting her into a respite program, I have been trying for almost three years now to get Laura into a respite program all I have gotten was a lot of frustration. Because she is an insulin dependent diabetic and has an insulin pump, nobody wants the responsibility of having her in there program. I spent almost two years trying to train a local agency but there staff turn over was faster than my training was allowed. All I ended up with was a headache and because Laura has to be there, she has  great anxiety about moving somewhere else. There is no real way to get her to understand that someday she will need to live in a group home. I have no desire for Laura to leave home. I truly have great fear of the day she will need to go live "somewhere else", as Laura calls it. I have worked for the state office of OMRDD for 28 years, I have seen great staff and awful staff. Nobody wants there baby at the hands of someone else. But I watched many young ladies and gentlemen being put into the institution or a group home on an emergency basis because there parents had either gotten sick or died. They were shocked and scared, anxiety was very real for them. You can't blame them, it is hard enough to go to a new school let alone being dumped into a home you have never seen or lived in.I DO NOT want that for Laura, she lives with some level of anxiety even here at home with people who love and understand her. Is it really too much to ask for her to be exposed to another type of home before she has to live there????? That is all I want! But we have an agency that takes the word retarded out of there name but does not want to treat them for all there disabilities, only there so called intellectual disabilities. Laura's intellectual disabilities are the lest of her problems, it is her physical disabilities that cause her the most stress. So Why does this office refuse to step up and ensure that all of there disabilities are taken care of???

Of course the government is broke and continues to cut services on a regular basis, this and all I mentioned could be a big part of my stress, what do you think???? For now I have a little girl, who just so happens to be turning 25 in a few weeks, she is tired and needs my help to get settled into bed for the night. I am not far behind her, more tomorrow.......

Our new family!

Today was a great day for all of us. Laura had us up early, maybe she knew something that we did not know. We left the house at 10am to meet our friends at Church, there son Jeff is the preacher at the Ephratah Reformed Church. I do not know why it is, but I have never walked into any church that made me feel as though I was home. I really think it is because we had met so many of the church members in the woods. while we were camping with Karen and Jim. Jeff is a powerful speaker, when I listen to him I completely understand his message and am able to relate to it. For such a young Pastor he has a wealth of information to offer, awesome!

After church we went to Karen and Jim's for dinner, Tom made his special spachilli as a treat, Karen made a salad and brownies and it was a meal. Karen's Mom and Dad were with us and even though he is also a Pastor, feel very comfortable around him, maybe to comfortable. Jim and Karen also have a handicapped daughter, so we relate on the same level with each other. When I meet friends of there, I often find I have something in common with them as well, to me it is uncanny how well we are suited to this new found friendship. For years I had friends that I had things in common with but never have I had a friend that I felt so connected to. And Tom feels the same way about Jim, as I do about Karen. Ahh heck, even Karena and Laura are best of buddies. There house is the only house we have ever been to that Laura just wanders around as if she were at home. The biggest problem is once we are there, the time passes to quickly and we have to make ourselves leave. That is a good feeling!

Sunday coupons with Laura.and stuff......

This morning I heard a knock at the door at 5:42am, it was Laura knocking on her door. She was stuck inside the room, unable to maneuver her wheelchair to get the door open. Ugh, 5:42am really on Sunday. She was all excited to do the coupons and go to church with her friends. Me I just want to sleep late, oh well. I climbed back into her bed and conned her to climb in with me on the pretense of snuggling with her. Laura loved that idea, I wrapped my arm around her and fell back to sleep for maybe 15 minutes before she told me she was hungry. So we were up and going, because her blood sugar was low, 83. I got her a bowl of cereal, made the coffee, scrambled some eggs and get the cinnamon rolls we bought yesterday warmed up in the oven. Set her up with breakfast, got the newspaper, let the dog out, made my breakfast, fixed my coffee and sat on the couch with her to read the paper and cut the coupons with Laura.

The past few days have been somewhat busy. I spent most of Friday with my Mom, Christmas shopping. We drove to Lee Massachusetts to the outlets, she did some shopping. Scaled down from years of gathering more than 2 dozen gifts for our very large family, but she is aging and her arthritis is getting the best of her. So she now does mostly gifts cards. Since the shopping went so quick, we went to Friendly's for lunch and took the long way home through the Berkshires, into Vermont and Troy. It was nice to spend some quality time chatting with her about the family, my life and plans for the future. We do not do that enough. For years when we went for this shopping trip, she insisted she needed to get back to the hardware store but this time she was happy to be way from it. Progress, work can't be all there is to life.

After I dropped my Mom off I went to visit my Aunt Mary. Unfortunately she has cancer and is in the final stages. She was recently told that it had spread from her colon, to her stomach and lungs, and only God knows where else. She is not strong enough for the chemo, surgery or any treatment for that matter. So it is time to love her and watch her leave us. My prayers are with her, I just want her to go home to her husband and Jesus as painlessly as possible. Do you hear me God, please let her have a smooth transition. Before I got there I picked up my cousin Melissa's son Hayden from there friend Kim and Emmett's home, they were watching him while the family met with the hospice nurse. They have decided it is time to have some help, Aunt Mary is not strong enough to be left alone and they all need to work. I feel bad for all of them because first they watched their Dad die of pancreatic cancer and now Mom. Why God? Melissa's son Hayden is 8 years old and is stuck in the middle of all of this. Grandma does not have a lot a patience for him, he is a normal, semi obsessed 8 year old. He is obsessed with Star Wars, and star wars Legos. While I was there he brought me these little tiny pieces and showed me the workings and job of each Star Wars character. He also came out of his room dressed like Darth Vader, this sent Grandma over the edge, it was almost time for dinner and he was not to wear the costume to the table. I am sure she is somewhat like this but not feeling well has made her very impatient with Hayden. She can't take his non stop motion and talking, this child is not shy, he talked to me all evening, wow! So s much as I want to be a part of her final days I also want to help with Hayden, he needs to be separated from the situation but he also needs to be there, a tough place to be for an 8 year old.

When my Uncle Jim died I never went to the house to see him. I have always had a fear of being around someone dieing of Cancer. I don't know where I get it from, maybe my parents, they never went there either, in fact none of my family went there during this time. I  have always felt guilty about it and have decided I would not do it again, so visit I am going to. Help as much as possible and be there for them as much as I can. It will be hard for Laura because she does not like it when I am not home but Aunt Mary is my family also and somehow I need to get her to understand that it is important to me. With the holidays here it is going to be tough for them, but no matter what it is going to be tough for them, so keep all of them in your prayers.

Thanksgiving is plated 3 minutes early!

I was up at 5am, while I showered Tom made Laura and I breakfast. By 6:30am I was at work, time to hit the decks. We put the last minute touches on decorating for company. Then set to work on heating all the food, finishing the side dishes that were not yet done, making pot after pot of coffee, checking the silverware, dishes, making punch, ice tea and a long list of other things. I hollered orders to anybody that would help, we washed dishes, folded napkins, lined basket with napkins and basically in 5 & 1/2 hours had  a grand buffet set up 3 minutes early.

Today I made a point of letting the staff care for the ladies and gentlemen we are here to care for, while I set out to give them a feast. We did a few really smart things, we sent five of our most troublesome people out for a walk. They were told if they went for a nice long walk on the bike trail they could all have seconds. Burn the calories, then eat! It worked, they were happy because there was an award waiting for them. And for those that were left behind, we had Jess come in, to do a sing a long. She teaches voice lessons to 2 of our young men. So we have been having her come for parties, she does the sing a long with James playing the keyboard during the time when every body is most anxious about lunch.

Often at these parties it is more difficult to keep the staff away from the buffet, they are anxious to feed the people so they can eat themselves. Anyway the day went perfectly, almost no behavioral problems. They excepted no, when we had decided two plates was enough. The parents were almost all happy with the exception of one parent. She really always seems to need to find a problem with what we are doing for her child. My boss wanted to make sure we had foods on the buffet that were special for him, he is on a gluten free diet. She said that last year, Mom complained that we did not have gluten free foods for him. I said it would not matter what we did,she would find something wrong anyway. I was proven to be correct, she monopolized the room supervisors time, talking about possible medical problems and trying to come up with a problem. My biggest problem with her behavior is she talks over her son ignoring him through the whole event. If you are there to see your son, then visit with him, don't just look for problems. I swear to God, if there is a problem brewing, it will find her naturally. Please let it be about your son, not your need for attention.

I left program happy but exhausted today. My reward for all that hard work was the 40 happy people in our care and there parents. They were all very thankful. I am very thankful for all the staff that did step up to the plate and work side by side with me, working very hard to get the job done. For those that were to selfish to pitch in: I have only one thing to say! You my friend can be a disabled person within a few seconds at any time, we will never know what our future holds. So don't ever forget to treat others the way you would like to be treated. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Hectic week

This has been a crazy week, tomorrow is our annual harvest luncheon at the day hab. While making sure 40 disabled adults needs are taken care of we are trying to prepare a feast for them, there families and a few other guests. There have been several bumps in the plan with behavioral outbursts all around us, some of the guys and gals find all the excitement of a party very hard to deal with. I think its all about anticipation and reasoning! They are struggling with the inability to wait and our inability to give them as much attention as they would like. So while we are struggling with keeping the peace, we are also busy making 20lbs of potatoes, 5 turkeys, homemade cranberries, squash, sweet potatoes, pies, desserts etc. yadda, yadda, yadda. And then there are the staff, whining because they have to work, running out of the room for coffee, lunch, bathroom, even feeding the squirrels. I find that it is much more difficult for me to sympathize with all the staffs emotional problems. I am not sure why people with serious emotional problems end up becoming care givers to the disabled. Unfortunately I have no patience for my fellow employees problems. The job I do is difficult enough without my spending time stroking the staff.

So enough complaining, all the food is precooked, the plan is in effect for staffing tomorrow. The Harvest Luncheon will happen and the families will all be happy! And the staff will all survive and collect there check like they always do. My old boss used to say you can hire the staff but you can't give the staff a heart or something like that. So one more day to get through. Decorate, heat the food, cook the veggies, serve the food, look happy to be doing all of it, clean the mess and leave exhausted. Hopefully if all goes well all our peeps will leave full and happy, that is the point of it all!

Change of weather

Today is the kind of day that I know I am putting the yard to sleep for the long winter ahead. For me it is the worst time of year, November is generally cold and wet here in the foothills of the Adirondacks. I spent most of the morning sitting around doing nothing, just waiting for the earth to warm up. Once it did get warm it was a beautiful day. Tom and I weed whacked, mowed, raked the gardens and yard. I even power washed the black top. I was sick of all the little specs of dry grass and leaves finding there way in the house. When I was all done our house and yard almost looked like yuppies live here.

While we were doing all this Laura was busy having a melt down, because I made her come outside with her walker. She thought she was going to spend the entire weekend in her wheelchair, wrong! I was tested to the end, she tried so hard to get me to feel sorry for her, in the end she finally walked down the ramp to her wheelchair but she was totally terrorized. The past few weeks she has been allowed to come out of the house in her chair because the mornings have started with frost on the deck. We aren't even in December yet and she is already starting to show her biggest anxiety. During the winter months she is very afraid of the ice and the dark, every step she takes outside is a struggle. She really can't seem to see the ground, today all the grass and leaves on the pavement freaked her out because she did not know that it was smooth. I can't even imagine that kind of fear every day of my life.I am afraid of walking on ice and I have to make  point of acting as if I have no fear just to keep her from realizing there is ice. I really can't wait til we have the ability to winter in the south away from the ice and snow. 4 years 8 months to go, yes I am looking forward to retirement.